People

 I have been sick- and therefor, have the perfect excuse to hide. 

I watched movie after movie, holed up in my dark room, with the world moving, working, DO-ing outside. I can show up to work- that's not a problem. It's all the interactions outside that.

I have a curious reaction to seeing people I know. I want to turn the other way and GO.

I'm not happy in isolation. I know that, but I'm comfortable. 

In certain situations I am fine. 

1. When someone else is hurting- I easily can be there for others.

2. Amongst people who are very rich (tempered with engaged, intelligent minds) or very poor- The very poor I feel are "my people" and the very rich can hold conversations with me about society, politics, art, philosophy, history- things I think about and want to learn more.

3. People I know without a shadow of a doubt, know me and love me. There are a few. People that I can say or do whatever comes to mind and they will embrace it- they get that in return from me.

But otherwise, I often feel-- just weird.

That's why I miss living in a big city. The busy-anonymity of city life is welcoming to me. I like being amongst people. Lots of people. Being lost amongst the sounds of cars, and traffic lights, yelling, and music, and shoes hitting pavement.