Saturday, August 13, 2016

Finding Happiness in Troubled Times

Teaching of the Dalai Lama: Introduction to Buddhism

It's an interesting thing, being a child with a bond to an institution like a sprawling group home, instead of to  a parent. Sacramento Children's Home had four cottages, each sixteen children from ages 12-18, a football field, a barnyard area, a recreational center and Cowell Center Cottage, with 20 children ages 5-12. I remember going back and visiting in my twenties. I had brought a boyfriend at the time. For the life of me, I can't remember which one. I think it was in my late twenties. Adrian, a brief boyfriend was connected to Sacramento and liked to visit, so it makes sense it was him.

Funding had become a huge issue for SCH. Cottage one had to be shut down and it stood, silent and dark, at attention along the path to the three other cottages. I had lived at Cowell Center Cottage and Cottage One.

There is general feeling of fondness for all the adult faces associated with the group home. We at SCH at that time had it better than the other group home kids. St. Patrick group home was not as well funded. Once a year, the better behaved kids got to visit that group home for BBQ. All group homes have a mix of kids,  juvenile delinquents, mental health cases, substance abuse cases, and children relinquished from parents or taken from parents. Most were wards of the court. Some parents still had some rights.

Kayponti was my favorite at the time. She was bold, talented and strong. She had a large forehead and a lovely face. Always wore her hair in a bun and her staff keys would hang on a shoelace around her neck and she would swing them around and around her neck, much like a hula-hoop. She had the greatest voice. Rich like mahogany. Around Christmas, right before bed, I would beg her to sing one more song. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire....." she would begin, finally, a perfectly pitched, velvet beginning. A church voice. A church voice from the ghetto. Perfectly perfect.

I hated living there, especially amongst the older children. Everyday, I had to look over my shoulder and be prepared to fight, one, two  or more kids, almost always girls. I remember having to fight this one short girl three times because she didn't like that I got the best of her. The last time was at dinner. She was very ghetto. She was goading me, even though I was ignoring her. There were four or five tables, each with about four chairs and separate serving bowls. It was a spaghetti night. I know this because, when I didn't respond she ended up chucking her tables serving bowl of spaghetti at me.  So, that's when I got up and lunged for her, over her table. We ended up on the floor, slipping around in spaghetti, each with fistfuls of hair, my fistfuls a response to hers. Staff had to get  down on the slimy floor and pry her fingers out of my hair. We were then separated. Before that time, she had charged into the bedroom (we were roommates then) saying "Nuh-uh! We going to have a rematch!" She saw me as some kind of challenge. I wasn't thrilled about it. I can hold my own. I had to. I didn't like fighting, in fact I hated it more than anything. It was so against my nature and personal history of being on the receiving end of violence at the hands of my parents. So, learning to give as good as I got took some coming around to, not in small part from certain staff who were tired of watching me get pushed around and told me, on the sly, that I needed to start pushing back. I remember, Dwayne, reminded me of an older version of one of the characters on A Different World, an 80s sitcom about black college students, with his round face and thin mustache, having to convince me that it was ok. I asked him "won't I get in trouble". He never said no, but I was made to understand, unlike anyone else had ever let me know, that I should be and am expected to stand up for myself, even if it means hitting them back.

I wonder about the bully problem kids face. I wonder if solutions are all in the "just ignore it" or "tell an adult". I think sometimes solutions are complicated due to circumstances and ignoring it only makes the kid a victim and makes it worse. I think the solution is having empowered children from the start.

Even now, I can see that being communicated and thought about as my child is a toddler. I certainly don't want any of my issues to be transmitted into my parenting. I think about that as I intervene on toy squabbles. Sometimes, I have to tell myself, the best thing to do is to let them work it out and not intervene. My childhood self wants to rescue her from "all those mean kids" but they aren't those kids they don't have that history and neither does Bella. She has never had a parent beat her; she has never been disrespected or made to feel inferior or unworthy or unloved. She has a parent who has loved her and supported her into the confident, happy girl she has become.

One thing I work on is telling her to tell the other children "No" and "Stop" when they are doing something to her she doesn't like. I want her to be capable and comfortable setting boundaries and to know that that's the right thing to do. She isn't 2 yet so this is all that's on the table at the moment. And learning that her body is her body and deserves to be respected, just as I expect her to respect other people's bodies.

It's a world away from the way I was raised. In so many ways. My ultimate wish is that this girl never has to fight, in fact, comes to learn physical contact as a fun element in the arena of sports like karate, soccer, swimming, and so on. That physical violence and boundaries are different issues. I do worry about what I don't have to give. Like well developed social skills. I mean, I know how to be nice to people but large crowds make me nervous and intimacy still scares me and even though I swear I know how to be a good friend, my two best friends have essentially ditched me since having a kid, one for I suspect subconcious reasons around my Motherhood, since she had a series of miscarriages then got fixed and the other because she's an alcoholic in a miserable relationship and rather than dealing with those things- would rather think it's my friendship- both I expect to hear from at some point down the road- maybe- and both I miss-despite the evolution of our friendships.
From nowhere, Stretchingout thin Extending hands A new chain You can judge What you think you see But you could never See me This incredible Hard Life With vivid translucency Hyper nostalgic Sweetness Greater cruelty than yours Has already been transmuted Not immune Innoculated I walk like A soldier

My Lama, Lama Tharchin Rinpoche

Saturday, June 11, 2016

ABC Post: How Clinton Donor Got on Sensitive Intelligence Board

How Clinton Donor Got on Sensitive Intelligence Board

What Is the Whitewater Scandal? Investigation - Bernie Sanders (1994)

Bill Clinton Murders

Bill Clinton is a Sexual Predator | Roger Stone

I am an American Patriot living in a time of the New World Order. My ancestors fought in the American Revolution, came on the Mayflower, fought in every war. I am going to continue to be the holder of the American dream even when my country fails to do so.

Pedophile Billionaires: Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Clinton & Sex Slave Island...

Rand Paul calls Hillary Clinton a "neocon," her camp can't defend her

Jon Stewart Has Some Harsh Words For Hillary Clinton

Jon Stewart Has Some Harsh Words For Hillary Clinton

Hillary the Scandals

Banned Documentaries - Episode 1: The Hillary Files

The Missing Clinton Women- The Washington Post

The missing Clinton women

By - The Washington Times - Thursday, June 24, 2004

Bill Clinton calls his sexual encounters with White House intern Monica Lewinsky “immoral and foolish” and said his “relationship” with Gennifer Flowers was one he “should not have had.” But in his autobiography flying out of bookstores, he doesn’t mention several other women whose names were linked in scandal with his.
Mr. Clinton denied conducting affairs with Miss Lewinsky and Miss Flowers when news of them first surfaced, but he writes in his 957-page autobiography, “My Life,” that now he is “deeply ashamed” of what he had done and lied about it because he was “trying to protect my family and myself from my selfish stupidity.”
The former president gives no details on his relationships with Miss Lewinsky — nothing about a blue dress or a cigar — or with Miss Flowers, other than to say that he wanted to “slug” reporter Steve Croft of the CBS-TV program “60 Minutes” when Mr. Croft pressed him about it in the “Stand by Her Man” Super Bowl interview.
He is less forthcoming about, or does not mention, other women who say they were either sexually involved with him, or that they had been sexually harassed or assaulted. These include:
c Dolly Kyle Browning, a real estate lawyer and Clinton high school classmate who said she had an off-and-on-again romance with Mr. Clinton for 30 years.
c Sally Perdue, a former Miss Arkansas who said she had a four-month affair with him in 1983.
c Connie Hamzy, a self-proclaimed rock-and-roll groupie, who said Mr. Clinton propositioned her in 1984 while she was sunbathing by a Little Rock hotel pool.
c Juanita Broaddrick, a gubernatorial campaign volunteer who said Mr. Clinton raped her during a nursing-home-operators convention in Little Rock in April 1978.
c Bobbie Ann Williams, a one-time Little Rock prostitute who said Mr. Clinton fathered a child by her when he was the governor of Arkansas.
c Eileen Wellstone, an English woman who said Mr. Clinton sexually assaulted her after she met him at a pub near Oxford University where Mr. Clinton was a student in 1969.
c Sandra Allen James, a former Washington, D.C., political fund-raiser who said Mr. Clinton invited her to his hotel room during a 1991 campaign trip, pinned her against the wall and put his hand under her dress.
c Christy Zercher, an airline flight attendant on Mr. Clinton’s 1992 campaign plane, who said Mr. Clinton exposed himself and grabbed her breasts.
c Lencola Sullivan, a former Miss Arkansas and fourth runner-up in the Miss America pageant.
c Elizabeth Ward, a former Miss Arkansas and Miss America.
c Susie Whitacre, press aide to Mr. Clinton when he was governor.
Several of the women were identified in a lawsuit filed by Larry Nichols, a one-time Arkansas state employee, as having had affairs with Mr. Clinton.
Mr. Clinton describes as a “liar” Kathleen Willey, a one-time White House aide, who accused him of groping her during a November 1993 interview at the White House when, she testified under oath in federal court, Mr. Clinton was “very forceful” in the unwanted sexual advance — kissing her on the mouth, touching her breasts and putting his hands under her dress.
He writes that her “sad tale” was part of a conspiracy by conservatives, including Whitewater independent counsel Kenneth W. Starr, to “discredit me and impair my ability so serve.”
Mrs. Willey had applied to get back her job at the White House, citing financial problems. She learned later that her husband killed himself on the day of the meeting, citing mounting debts. Mr. Clinton does not say why he was interviewing an applicant for an assistant’s position in the Office of Social Secretary, a relatively low-level position.
Mr. Clinton describes Paula Jones, a former Arkansas state employee who said she was escorted in 1991 to a Little Rock hotel room by Arkansas state troopers, where Mr. Clinton exposed himself and asked her to “kiss it,” as a political opportunist.
He writes that he agreed to pay Mrs. Jones an $850,000 settlement in a pending lawsuit, so he could get “back to work” for the American people.
“I settled the Paula Jones case for a large amount of money and no apology,” he writes. “I hated to do it because I had won a clear victory on the law and the facts in a politically motivated case. But I had promised the American people I would spend the next two years working for them; I had no business spending five more minutes on the Jones case.”
At the time of the November 1998 settlement, Mr. Clinton and his attorneys had spent more than four years contesting the Jones suit. Mr. Clinton writes that as a result of the lengthy Jones case he had an opportunity to spend “two to three hours alone in my office,” where he read the Bible and books on faith and forgiveness.
“I had had a lot of stones cast at me, and through my own self-inflicted wounds, I had been exposed to the whole world,” he writes. In some ways, it was liberating; I had nothing more to hide,” he writes. “Whatever the motives of my adversaries, it became clear on those solitary nights … that if I wanted compassion from others, I needed to show it.”
Mr. Clinton writes that he is not angry at adversaries who raised questions about his conduct, made unsupported accusations or sought to damage his presidency.
“Becoming a good person is a lifelong effort that requires letting go of anger at others and holding on to responsibility for the mistakes I’ve made,” he says. “And it requires forgiveness.
“After all the forgiveness I’ve been given from Hillary, Chelsea, my friends and millions of people in America and across the world, it’s the least I can do.”

The Real Bill Clinton - Documentary

Hillary Clinton Will Stop At Nothing To Bury & Suppress This Interview

Bill Clinton sexual misconduct allegations

Bill Clinton sexual misconduct allegations

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Bill Clinton, the 42nd President of the United States (1993-2001), has been publicly accused by several women of sexual misconductJuanita Broaddrick has accused Clinton of rape; Kathleen Willey has accused Clinton of groping her without consent; and Paula Jones accuses Clinton of sexually harassing her. No other woman has publicly accused Clinton of sexual assault or harassment, although there have been anonymous allegations. Other women have alleged adulterous affairs with Bill Clinton (e.g., Dolly Kyle,Gennifer FlowersMonica Lewinsky). In addition, rumors of additional sexual misconduct have been publicized in tabloid magazines and on the Internet.
Of all the allegations made against him regarding his sexual history, Clinton has only admitted extramarital relationships with Monica Lewinsky and Gennifer Flowers. He denied having an affair with Dolley Kyle. Through his representatives, he has responded to the allegations by attempting to discredit the accusations, noting in the cases of Willey and Broaddrick that they both previously testified, under oath, that Clinton never made unwanted advances.[1]

Juanita Broaddrick[edit]

In a 1999 episode of Dateline NBC, former Clinton volunteer Juanita Broaddrick alleged that in the late 1970s Bill Clinton raped her in her hotel room. According to Broaddrick, she agreed to meet with Clinton for coffee in the lobby of her hotel, but Clinton asked if they could go to her room to avoid a crowd of reporters. Once Clinton had isolated her in her hotel room, he sexually assaulted her. Broaddrick stated Clinton injured her lip by biting it during the assault.[2][3] In 1999, Clinton denied Broaddrick's allegations through his lawyer.
Supporters of Clinton have questioned her account by noting that Broaddrick continued to support Clinton, and appear at public events on his behalf, weeks after the alleged rape.[1] In addition, Broaddrick had once signed a deposition stating that no sexual contact had occurred with Bill Clinton; although she subsequently stated that she had made this claim because "I didn't want to be forced to testify about the most horrific event of my life."[4][5]
Broaddrick's allegations resurfaced in the 2016 presidential campaign. In various media interviews, Broaddrick stated that Clinton raped her and that Hillary Clinton knew about it, and tried to threaten Broaddrick into remaining silent. She started giving some interviews in 2015 because Hilary Clinton's statement that victims of sexual assault should be believed angered her.[6]

Dolley Kyle[edit]

As part of Paula Jones sexual harrasment case Dolly Kyle, a childhood classmate of Bill Clinton, was deposed and stated that she had known Bill Clinton since she was eleven and had an affair with him starting around 1974 and ending in 1992.[7][8][9][10] Ms. Kyle had become a lawyer in Texas. She began writing a "semi-autobiographical novel" about her alleged affair with Bill Clinton. In the publication process, Browning asserted that Clinton did everything in his power to prohibit and undermine publication. Browning sued Clinton for damages, but the US Court of Appeals denied her appeal. Clinton denied that an affair had occurred.[11][12] She subsequently published a memoir (Hillary the Other Woman: A Political Memoir) on their alleged 18-year affair.[13][14]

Paula Jones[edit]

According to Paula Jones' account, on May 8, 1991, she was escorted to Clinton's hotel room in Little Rock, Arkansas[15] where he propositioned and exposed himself to her. She claimed she kept quiet about the incident until 1994, when a David Brock story in the American Spectator magazine printed an account. In any case, in 1994, Jones filed a federal lawsuit against Clinton, alleging sexual harassment. In the discovery stage of the suit, Jones's lawyers had the opportunity to question Clinton under oath about his sexual history; in the course of this testimony, Clinton denied having had a sexual affair with Monica Lewinsky, a denial that (once his affair with Lewinsky was exposed) would lead to his impeachment for perjury and obstruction of justice.[16]
In April 1998, the case was dismissed by Republican Judge Susan Webber Wright as lacking legal merit.[17] But Jones appealed Webber Wright's ruling, and her suit gained traction following Clinton's admission to having an affair with Monica Lewinsky in August 1998.[18]
On appeal, in the midst of his trial for impeachment based on false testimony in the Jones case (about his affair with Monica Lewinsky), Clinton was faced with the prospect of having to go under oath again and testify more about his sexual history. Instead, Clinton agreed to an out-of-court settlement, paying Jones and her lawyers $850,000 to drop the suit.[19] Clinton's lawyer said that the President made the settlement only so he could end the lawsuit for good and move on with his life.[20]

Kathleen Willey[edit]

In 2015, Kathleen Willey alleged Clinton groped her in the White House Oval Office in 1993.[21] An independent counsel determined Willey gave "false information" to her boyfriend about being pregnant and obtaining an abortion.[22] Kenneth Starr granted her immunity for her testimony in his separate inquiry.[22][23]
Linda Tripp, the Clinton Administration staffer who secretly taped her phone conversations with Monica Lewinsky in order to expose the latter's affair with the President, testified under oath that Willey's sexual contact with President Clinton in 1993 was consensual, that Willey had been flirting with the President, and that Willey was happy and excited following her 1993 encounter with Clinton.[24] Ken Starr thought there was insufficient evidence to pursue her allegations further. In 2007 Willey published a book about her experiences with the Clintons.[25]

Gennifer Flowers[edit]

Gennifer Flowers (born January 24, 1950) is an American model and actress who obtained notoriety in 1992 by revealing a 12-year sexual relationship with former U.S. PresidentBill Clinton. Clinton denied the affair at the time. However, In January 1998, as part of Paula Jones case, Clinton testified under oath that he had [26] sexual relations with Flowers.[27] [28] In 2016 Flowers stated that Hillary is an enabler of Bill Clinton’s affairs.[29]

Other allegations[edit]

In 1998, in response to what she called false media claims that Clinton had raped her, Elizabeth Ward Gracen (former Miss Arkansas and Miss America) recanted a six-year-old denial and stated she had a one-night stand with Clinton in 1982.[30] Gracen later apologized to Hillary Clinton.[30]
Sally Perdue, a former Miss Arkansas, said she had a four-month affair with him in 1983.[31]
Connie Hamzy, a self-described rock-and-roll groupie, who said Clinton propositioned her in 1984 while she was sunbathing by a Little Rock hotel pool.[32]
Lencola Sullivan, a former Miss Arkansas and fourth runner-up in the Miss America pageant was rumoured to have "sexual relationship" with Clinton by L.D. Brown, Clinton's state trooper body guard.[33]

See also[edit]

Related Books[edit]


  1. Jump up to:a b
  2. Jump up^
  3. Jump up^ "Clinton Accuser's Story Aired"The Washington Post. March 14, 1999. RetrievedApril 26, 2010.
  4. Jump up^ "Clinton Accuser's Story Aired"Washington Post. February 25, 1999. RetrievedJune 3, 2016.
  5. Jump up^ "The truth about Donald Trump’s old mud: The facts about Juanita Broaddrick, Kathleen Willey, Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton"Daily News. May 28, 2016. Retrieved May 29,2016.
  6. Jump up^ Ian Tuttle (January 20, 2016). "Juanita Broaddrick Still Haunts Hillary Clinton". National Review. Retrieved May 30, 2016.
  7. Jump up^ Frank Rich (Feb 4, 1998). "Joy of Sex". NY Times.
  8. Jump up^ "Jones vs. Clinton: Declaration of Dolly Kyle Browning". Washington Post. March 13, 1998.
  9. Jump up^ RICHARD A. SERRANO (March 14, 1998). "Jones' Attorneys Detail Allegations Against Clinton". LA Times.
  10. Jump up^ Blake Wilson (June 22, 2005). "The Truth About Hillary". Slate.
  11. Jump up^ Browning v. Clinton No. 01-5050, June 11, 2002. Retrieved August 23, 2012.
  12. Jump up^ Josh Gerstein (Feb 22, 2001). "Clinton Sex Allegation Lawsuit Dropped". ABC News.
  13. Jump up^ Kyle, Doyle (May 6, 2016). Hillary the Other Woman: A Political Memoir. WND Books.ISBN 978-1-944229-45-0.
  14. Jump up^ James Barrett (May 16, 2016). "Bill Clinton's Alleged Ex-Lover Just Made Some 'Sick, Sick' Claims About Bill and Hillary". The Daily Wire.
  15. Jump up^ Clinton v. JonesNo. 95-1853 U.S. (1997-05-27).
  16. Jump up^ Tiersma, Peter. "The Language of Perjury",, 20 November 2007
  17. Jump up^ "Clinton Welcomes Jones Decision; Appeal Likely". CNN. April 2, 1998. RetrievedSeptember 11, 2011.
  18. Jump up^ "Text of Jones's Appeal"The Washington Post. July 31, 1998. Retrieved August 25,2010.
  19. Jump up^ "Appeals court ponders Paula Jones settlement". CNN. November 18, 1998. RetrievedSeptember 11, 2011.
  20. Jump up^ Baker, Peter (November 14, 1998). "Clinton Settles Paula Jones Lawsuit for $850,000"The Washington Post. Retrieved October 27, 2011.
  21. Jump up^ "The Starr Report" Retrieved 2016-01-12.
  22. Jump up to:a b "The Lives Of Kathleen Willey". CNN. March 30, 1998. Retrieved September 11,2011.
  23. Jump up^ Clines, Francis X. (March 14, 1998). "Testing of a President: The Accuser; Jones Lawyers Issue Files Alleging Clinton Pattern of Harassment of Women"The New York Times. Retrieved March 20, 2008The Presidential deposition released today confirmed several revelations reported earlier, including Mr. Clinton's confirmation... that he had had sex with Gennifer Flowers, a one-time Arkansas worker.
  24. Jump up^ Susan Schmidt (November 1, 1998). "Starr Probing Willey Allegations". Washington Post.
  25. Jump up^*Version*=1&*entries*=0
  26. Jump up^ Clines, Francis X. (March 14, 1998). "TESTING OF A PRESIDENT: THE ACCUSER; JONES LAWYERS ISSUE FILES ALLEGING CLINTON PATTERN OF HARASSMENT OF WOMEN"The New York Times. Retrieved March 20, 2008In his January deposition, the President, though finally confirming a sexual encounter with Ms. Flowers, was precise in denying Ms. Willey's report that he had sought to kiss her and feel her breasts
  27. Jump up^ "Declaration of Gennifer Flowers"The Washington Post. March 13, 1998. RetrievedMarch 20, 2008.
  28. Jump up^ "Bill Clinton and Gennifer Flowers – 1992". Washington Post. 1998.
  29. Jump up^ "Hillary is an 'enabler': Bill's mistress Gennifer Flowers speaks out on former First Couple's 40th anniversary and says she has more secret tapes". Daily Mail. June 7, 2016.
  30. Jump up to:a b "Former Miss America Apologizes To First Lady – April 25, 1998". CNN. Archived from the original on June 14, 2008. Retrieved November 9, 2008.
  31. Jump up^ David Plotz (1998-01-29). "All The President's Women"Slate. Retrieved 2008-08-23.
  32. Jump up^ Stephanopoulos, George (2000) [1999]. All Too Human: A Political Education. Boston: Back Bay. pp. 54–55. ISBN 0-316-93016-4. Retrieved 2008-11-29.
  33. Jump up^